The one who always leaves the decisions of their life to someone else
Dependent · an organism living on a host; of a person, one who lives off others.
One of 53 roles that can show upA long-weakened power to turn what one wants into action, a perception that places the causes of outcomes in fate and other people, and a state of having long stopped asking who one is. This pattern appears when these three deficiencies are present together in one person. A person with this pattern lives depending on other people or their circumstances, but what matters is that this is not an inborn defect but a learned pattern.
Work, housing, money, health. A person with this pattern keeps putting off the decisions they should take responsibility for and leaves them to someone else. Even when they try something, they stop immediately as soon as they hit a small difficulty, such as having to submit a single form, make one phone call, or face one rejection.
They face their greatest crisis when the person they depended on leaves or runs into difficulties. At that point they realize all at once that there is nothing they can do on their own, and they usually get through the crisis by quickly finding someone new to depend on.
Psychology calls the state of giving up on even trying after repeated experiences of failure learned helplessness. What matters is that what was formed by learning can be changed by learning again. The way out of this pattern is not to attempt a big change but to repeat the experience of small actions leading to small results and to regain the sense that what one did produced the outcome.
Two people can share a role and still live differently, depending on how strongly it shows up in each of them.
When it shows faintly, a person can recover by repeatedly starting with small things, but the stronger it grows, the more their own life shrinks apart from the relationship they depend on, and they place a burden on that relationship itself. You can see in numbers how far along you are once you complete the test.
This pattern shows up when they have to take responsibility and make a decision. This person keeps putting off decisions about work, housing, money, and health and leaves them to someone else. Even when they try something, they stop immediately on hitting a small difficulty. A single form, one phone call, or one rejection is enough to make them stop.
This pattern is different from having a weak will. Being lazy and giving up on even trying after repeated failure are not the same. Having given up on trying is not an inborn defect but a learned pattern. The free 76-question test shows your type, and the full 288-question analysis shows how strong this pattern is.
Neither decides their own affairs for themselves. What they leave things to differs. The Wanderer leaves things to circumstances, moving around according to how things happen to be. The Dependent leaves things to a person, and when that person leaves, they realize all at once that there is nothing they can do on their own. So the Wanderer moves, while the Dependent stops.
It is not a defect to fix but a pattern formed by learning. What was formed by learning can be changed by learning again. Rather than attempting a big change all at once, one only needs to repeat the experience of small actions leading to small results. Regaining the sense that what one did produced the outcome is the way out of this pattern.
This page describes behavior patterns for self-understanding. It is not a medical or psychological diagnosis, and it does not replace professional care. If difficulties persist and disrupt daily life, please seek professional help.
Which of the 53 roles show up in you, and how strongly? Run the assessment to see the actual intensity in your own result.