Relationship

When Your Way of Working Clashes With Your Boss

The work itself is fine, but every report is criticized. It is not a matter of right and wrong. The two of you simply look at different things first.

Why does my way of working clash with my boss?

You judge by different standards. To a boss who looks at results first, an explanation of the process seems too long. To a boss who needs to check the process, a report that gives only the conclusion seems risky.

You also work in a different order. When someone who plans everything before starting works with someone who starts and then adjusts, the same task keeps getting different instructions.

How does it feel to be criticized all the time?

Constant criticism makes them feel judged without telling them what to fix. When the criticism is about the way they work rather than the direction, they cannot tell what to do differently next time.

Reporting itself becomes stressful. If they believe they will be criticized no matter what they say, they put off reporting, and a late report becomes another reason for criticism.

How do bosses who look at conclusions first differ from those who look at the process first?

Some bosses can decide from a summary, and others need to see the evidence first. If your boss is the second kind, every summary you send is followed by a request for more explanation.

They also differ in how much detail they want to check. Some need to check each point to feel reassured, and others hand things over and look only at the result. Working with the first kind means less autonomy, but the basis for each decision is clearer.

How should you report to your boss?

Ask first what format they want. Checking once whether they want the conclusion first or the whole process greatly reduces criticism afterward. Continuing in your own way without asking is a major cause of conflict.

When you are criticized, confirm what to do next. Asking not what was lacking but what to do next time turns the criticism into guidance for the next task.

What happens if the clash with your boss continues?

The problem becomes enduring a person rather than doing the work. The work itself is manageable, but tension at every report is exhausting, and if that lasts long enough, it becomes a reason to leave the company.

The boss also stops changing their view. Once they conclude after a few reports that someone does poor work, later results look that way too, and changing that view takes much longer.

How can you tell what your boss cares about most?

A boss's tendencies show more in the questions they ask back than in their instructions. Watching a few times whether they ask for evidence or for the schedule first tells you what they care about most.

If your boss has also finished the assessment, the two of you can view the relationship analysis as colleagues. It shows what each of you looks at first and where you clash, so you can adjust how you report before problems start.

Frequently asked

Is adapting to my boss a kind of defeat?
Adjusting the format of a report is an adjustment of method. It is different from changing your content or your judgment.
Is a boss who criticizes a lot a bad boss?
They may simply need to check details to feel reassured. But if they do not tell you what to do next, their management is lacking regardless of personality.
Is it all right to ask how they want reports?
Yes. Most welcome it, because it saves doing the work twice.
What if we never get along?
If adjusting your approach does not work, changing your scope of work or your team is also an option. Differences in personality do not disappear through effort alone.

Read next

Why Some People Stop Talking After a Fight
Why You Keep Needing Reassurance
Why Some People Cannot Say They Are Hurt
Why Partners Want Different Amounts of Contact
When Two People Show Affection Differently
When Two People Spend Money Differently

How should you read this page?

This page describes behavior patterns for self-understanding. It is not a medical or psychological diagnosis, and it does not replace professional care. If difficulties persist and disrupt daily life, please seek professional help.

This page covers the type in general. How it actually shows up in your own combination is what the measurement tells you.

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